Two Great Detectives Solve The MMMystery on the Friendship Express…
by Dede42
Summary: Pinkie Pie is eager to get her newest cake to Canterlot for the dessert competition, but is worried that some pony will try to eat it. Can Doctor Hooves, Derpy, Timon, Pumbaa, and Tigger help keep it safe?
1. Chapter 1: Dessert Transportation Part 1

A/N: I do like it, and it's better then what I was going to add to finish up this chapter.

Disclaimer: This is just a fun retailing of the episode for the fun of it.

* * *

The Climatic Return Of ''Tigger, Private Ear''! (Aka: Two Great Detectives Solve The MMMystery on the Friendship Express...With Help!): Chapter 1: Dessert Transportation!

*Clear sunny day, blah blah blah, same thing it's been since the beginning of time. Why do I even bother? Okay, what's the story? Where do we begin this time? Um...errr...oh, I know! The Doc's lab! Why? ...I have no idea. We're desperately trying to come up with brand new fresh Dr. Hooves related story ideas and somehow, inserting him and Derpy in actual MLP episodes is the only thing Dede42 and I can think of for now. Okay, what was I saying? Oh yeah! Here's the Doc in his lab...(puzzled) baking cakes?*

* * *

Dr. Hooves: (runs by quickly holding a steaming tray) Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot! (Crashes into a table and safely puts the tray down) Phew! I've forgotton how hot food gets after it's just been cooked in ovens. (looks disappointedly at the tray) Oh, I knew this would happen. My first attempts always turn out to be disasters! Oh, who am I kidding? I can't bake a good enough cake to enter in the national dessert competition. I don't even know why I even wanted to enter it anyway. Oh gosh, they're so ugly!

*Just then by sheer coincidence, yet another crash landing by the mailmare herself, Derpy Hooves!*

Dr. Hooves: (winces at the sound from wherever the front door in his house is) Hey-ho. Bye bye, front door. Sounds like I'd better order another one. (Walks out of the lab and towards the front door) Hold on! I'm on the way! Keep your shirt on! (Sees Derpy all dazed on the floor) Derpy, what a surprise...again...gee, you'd think I'd be used to this by now. Um, you okay?

Derpy: (still dazed) I've got a lovely bunch of muffins! Diddly diddly! There they are a standing in a ro...

Dr. Hooves: (shakes her) Snap out of it, Derpy! Speak to me!

Derpy: (snaps out of it) Doc? Doctor, is that you? Huh. How nice it is to see you. Um...how did I get here?

Dr. Hooves: I believe you crash landed...again...for what, I don't know, like...the 9000th time the past weeks. It's starting to get a little tiresome actually. Um, no offence.

Derpy: Non-taken, Doc.

Dr. Hooves: And uh, please don't call me...

Derpy: Now, what was I dropping by here for again? (Turns around and notices her mailbag) Oh yeah! Uh...a letter for Dr. Hooves from Pinkie Pie!

Dr. Hooves: Pinkie Pie, eh? Wonder what's up with her?

Derpy: Gee, I dunno, Doc. I didn't wanna read it yet until I gave it to you. How should I know?

Dr. Hooves: Oh, give it here. (Begins reading the letter) ''Dear Dr. Hooves (aka: Super Mega Awesome Time Travelling Pony With A Sonic Screwdriver Thingy), I'm having a bit of trouble getting the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness onboard the train from Ponyville to Canterlot (aka: where this year's national dessert competition is being held)''. Huh? Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness? What the heck is that?

Derpy: Oh! I think it's like a really, really, REALLY BIG cake made by Pinkie Pie from what I've been told. Well, go on! Keep reading! Keep reading!

Dr. Hooves: Alright, alright. Ahem! (Continues reading) ''I'm in desperate need of someone with some kind of machinery or weapon to cut a big hole on the side of the dessert car so we can get my big old dessert onboard the train before it leaves. I do hope my cake wins the competition this year. Love Pinkie Pie.''. So, help from my sonic screwdriver, eh? Well, say no more then. I'll probably have to make one or two adjustments to it if I'm going to cut a hole in the train car doors.

Derpy: But Doctor, how do you know your sonic screwdriver is capable of doing what Pinkie Pie requested? I mean, we never knew if it could fix roofs because you took so long making adjustments that Discord just fixed it with his magic. In fact...why not bring him back here and make the hole in the side of the train car with his magic? Wouldn't that be easier and save time?

Dr. Hooves: I'm not sure that's a really good idea, Derpy.

Derpy: Why not?

Dr. Hooves: Well, I wouldn't want to bother Discord, Timon and Pumbaa with any more favors or more adventures or trips out. Trust me, Timon is still in desperate need of rest and relaxation to recover from our last adventure.

Derpy: Yeah. But Doctor, it's not long until the train has to set off to Canterlot! If you take too long making adjustments to your sonic screwdriver, it might leave without us! And I don't even know if it might be Thomas or any other train pulling it yet because I haven't checked! Come on, Doc! Surely Pinkie could use some chaotic magical help instead?

Dr. Hooves: But Derpy, surely Timon doesn't want to get dragged into another...(sees Derpy giving him adorable puppy dog eyes again) oh, go on then.

Derpy: YAY!

Dr. Hooves: Come on. To the TARDIS.

* * *

Meanwhile in the jungle of Africa, Timon and Pumbaa are on the hunt for a particular type of exotic beetle to have for their friendship anniversary, and Discord is back at their home, reading a Curious George book. The spirit of chaos had offered to use his magic to gather the beetles, but they had wanted to collect them on their own as it was part of the fun of their friendship anniversary.

Discord: (turns a page in the book and giggles) Oh that George, always _so_ curious. (He resumes reading and conjures up a cup of his favorite tea to sip when there is a familiar trumpeting sound, and he looks up from his book.) Huh?

(Moments later, the TARDIS appears and both Dr. Whooves and Derpy exit the time machine.)

Derpy: Hey, Discord!

Dr. Whooves: Greetings, Discord.

Discord: (makes both his book and his tea disappear) Well, well, what brings you two here? Wanting to try out one of the virtual safari trips?

Dr. Whooves: (shakes his head) Oh no, I had one experience with those rides that I rather not repeat. Actually we're here to ask you, Timon, and Pumbaa for a favor. Uh, where are the meerkat and the warthog?

Derpy: Yeah! Where's our buddies?

Discord: Oh, they're off searching for a certain type of beetle for their friendship anniversary, and I'm sure that they'll be back soon enough. (he summons seats for all three of them, along with cups of tea) So, what is this favor anyway? Need me to stir things up and make life interesting in Ponyville as (he snaps his fingers and transforms into Tigger) Tigger?

Derpy: Funny you should ask that, Discord. Because that's exactly...

Dr. Hooves: Actually, I was wondering if you could use your magic to quickly make a few adjustments to my sonic screwdriver. See, Pinkie Pie is trying to get a huge cake into the train and needs a hole cuttin...

Derpy: Doctor! I told you. I don't think there's enough time for making adjustments to that thing. It'll take too long and the train will set off without us.

Dr. Hooves: Uh...right, right. Apparently, Derpy would rather have you make the hole in the side of the dessert car with your chaos magic instead of doing things the high tech way. Pfft. What a waste of a perfectly good sonic screwdriver.

Discord: (transforms back into himself) Really? That's all you need from me? A measly little favor just to get a GIANT cake onboard a train carriage? Pfft, you're kidding right?

Derpy: Maybe you'd consider changing your mind if I told you that the cake is being delivered to Canterlot so it can be entered in a national dessert competition.

Discord: Ugh. GAG! Boring!

Derpy: They have an awful lot of yummy treats to eat there.

Discord: (perks up at the mention of treats) Treats?! Did you say treats?!

Derpy: Mmm-hmm.

Discord: Ooh! Ooh! I don't suppose they have any cotton candy or chocolate milk by any chance? Do they?

Derpy: Well, we won't know unless you do this tiny favor and join us. So, what do ya say?

Discord: Well, a thing like this is something I wouldn't normally do. But hey, I'll do anything for tasty treats! Let me just grab the gang. (Snaps his fingers causing Timon and Pumbaa to teleport to where Discord is)

Timon: (lands on the ground) Hey! What's the big idea, Discord? I was just about to chow down on a really delicious beetle! Not to mention it was rare.

Pumbaa: (sees Dr. Hooves and Derpy) Oh, hello, you two! Haven't seen you both in a while. What brings you here?

Dr. Hooves: Well, Pinkie Pie asked me for this really small favor involving my son...

Derpy: What he means to say is that Pinkie has invited all those interested in national dessert competitions to travel to Canterlot and have a few samples of the desserts and food there.

Dr. Hooves: That's not what I was going to say at all.

Discord: And apparently, the Doc needs my help in getting Pinkie's apparent big cake onboard the train with my magic. A boring favor and pointless task, I know. But, I can't say no to food, can I?

Pumbaa: Wow! National dessert competition? Lots of food? Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Count me in! I'd love to join in! What about you, Timon? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Timon: Oh no. There is NO way I'm getting dragged into yet ANOTHER adventure. Don't you remember what happened the last time we were on an adventure? Do you know how long it took for Applejack to actually open up to us?

Dr. Hooves: (to Derpy) I told you he didn't want to come with us, Derpy.

Pumbaa: But Timon, we're only going to be travelling by train to Canterlot. And we're only tagging along because food's involved. It'll be much more fun than last time! Right, Derpy?

Derpy: Right.

Timon: (sigh) Alright, alright. I'll join in too. But only on one condition.

Dr. Hooves: What's that?

Timon: The food there had BETTER be GOOD! (Makes his way to the TARDIS) Honestly, all I wanted was a nice bunch of rare exotic beetles. But no. I get sucked into another dumb trip out somewhere. Why do I even bother?

Derpy: Wow. I guess our last adventure really WAS too much for him.

Dr. Hooves: Well, that settles it then. Come on, everyone. Back to the TARDIS!

* * *

A/N: I think this is the best way to end this chapter and to start on the next one. Thanks, guys, and I will see you all tomorrow. Bye for now! R&R everyone!


	2. Chapter 2: Dessert Transportation Part 2

A/N: (Dede42 and Sunrise Blossom sits on the couch in the writers' studio, enjoying cookies and milk, and in the background one can hear Spitfire's muffled shouts coming from the closest.)

Dede42: Hey, online brother, we took care of the disclaimer for chapter one and for this chapter, too.

Sunrise Blossom: Yup! Everything's going great!

Disclaimer: This is just a fun retailing of the episode for the fun of it.

* * *

The Climatic Return Of ''Tigger, Private Ear''! (Aka: Two Great Detectives Solve The MMMystery on the Friendship Express...With Help!): Chapter 2: Dessert Transportation! (Part 2)

*Meanwhile back at the Ponyville train station where Big Macintosh is still carrying Twilight's magical shield with Pinkie's cake in it on his back and everyone else is just standing there dumbfounded, everyone is...well, need I say more right now?*

Pinkie Pie: (nervously pacing back and the forth the platform a few times) Oh, come on, Doctor. Where ARE you and the sonic screwdriver thingy?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh, Pinkie? Are you sure Dr. Hooves CAN cut a hole in the side of this dessert car with his sonic screwdriver so that we can get this cake onboard?

Fluttershy: And how can we be sure if that thing is even capable of doing things like that?

Rainbow Dash: Hey, Pinkie. If you want, we could ask the conductor permission to let Big Mac remove the side of this car so we can get the cake onboard and then hammer it back into place once we're done.

Big Mac: Eeyup.

Pinkie Pie: But Dashie, hammering it back into place? I don't think there's enough time to do it that way! I mean, look at the time! It's starting to get pretty late! It's not long before the train has to depart! And the trains are getting rather impatient! Look!

* * *

*Oh, hey! It's Casey Junior and Tillie again! The perfect duo since they both share the phrase ''I think I can''. Okay, pointless facts of the day time! Tillie is at the front of the train while Casey Junior is...a back engine. In other words, having to push the train from behind the caboose. And although Tillie doesn't seem to mind waiting, Pinkie wasn't kidding about Casey getting impatient.*

Casey Junior: Oh, quit talking and get onboard already! We're nearly late enough as it is!

Tillie: Aw, come on, brother. I don't mind being late. I mean, I know you take your job at pulling trains very seriously by keeping on time and staying punctual. But surely you can put all that aside just this once. Please?

Casey Junior: But Tillie...we've never been late with a train before. (Realises something) Hold on. We've also never had trains pulled like this before either. Why do I have to be the BACK engine and not the FRONT engine? And...how am I even coupled up to the caboose when I don't even have buffers and coupling rods? All I have is a cowcatcher in front of me instead!

Tillie: But Casey, you don't catch cows! (Bursts out laughing while a rimshot plays out of nowhere)

Casey Junior: (unamused at the joke) Really? (Sigh) Why did I agree to do this with you?

Tillie: Well, you weren't to know we'd be back pulling trains for these talking multicoloured horses again until the last minute. Come on, Casey. I know you had a rough time pulling trains here in this Equestria place before. But I can assure you that this time, nothing can go wro...

Casey Junior: (hears something) Shhh! Listen! Do you hear that?

* * *

Sunrise Blossom: Twilight! Look up there! (Points to a familiar rectangle shape slowly falling out of the sky) What is that?

Twilight Sparkle: I'm not sure, Sunrise. Hmm. It looks to me like it's getting closer and closer towards the platform. (Begins getting Deja Vu) Wait...uh oh.

Pinkie Pie: EVERYPONY RUN!

Big Mac: Eeyup!

*Everyone runs off while Big Mac somehow still manages to keep Pinkie's cake safe on his back.*

Twilight Sparkle: (gulps) Mother? (The TARDIS crash lands on her again) Ow!

Casey Junior: (just glares at Tillie) You just HAD to say that, didn't you?

Tillie: (nervous laugh) Oops.

Sunrise Blossom: (gasps) Sweet Celestia! It's the TARDIS!

Everyone Else (except the squashed Twilight): The TARDIS?!

Tillie: Ooh! The TARDIS! Does that mean that Dr. Who is here?

Dr. Hooves: (comes out of the fallen TARDIS's doors) Somepony call for our assistance?

Tillie: (disappointed) Aw! You're not Dr. Who.

Casey Junior: You like Dr. Who WAY too much. You know that, sister?

Pinkie Pie: Dr. Hooves! Thanks goodness you got here! I was worried you'd never make it!

Dr. Hooves: Don't worry, Pinkie. I'm here now. But I'm not alone. (Gestures to Derpy, Timon, Pumbaa and Dis...''Tigger'' coming out of the TARDIS as well)

Derpy: Hi!

Casey Junior: (recognises the meerkat and warthog) Oh no! Not those loons who were breakdancing and hitchhiking on those desert tracks again!

Timon: (sarcastically) And a nice surprise seeing you again too, Mr. Doesn't Bother To Watch He's Going!

Pumbaa: Now, now, Timon. We're here to have a good time this time. Remember?

Twilight Sparkle: (voice all muffled underneath the TARDIS) Hello! Can someone PLEASE get this thing OFF OF ME AGAIN?!

Dr. Hooves: Oopsie! Hold on one moment! (Renters the TARDIS and moves it off Twilight and to the side) There we go.

Twilight Sparkle: (pries herself off the floor again) Thanks, Doc.

Dr. Hooves: No problem.

Pinkie Pie: So, Doc, did you bring the sonic screwdriver like I asked?

Dr. Hooves: Well, yes. But you see...apparently, Derpy says...

Derpy: He was going to make a few adjustments to it so it could cut holes in dessert car sides, but it was going to take an awful lot of time. So...

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): So, you have me instead! Tigger, the Greatest Magician in all the Hundred Acre Woods! Here to get this big old cake onboard the train with a wave of my magic wand! (Puts on a magician's hat and gets out a plastic wand) What do you think, huh? (Winks at Sunrise so she knows who he is)

Timon: Pfft. Showoff.

Sunrise Blossom: (thinks in her head) Oh, Discord. I'd recognise that wink anywhere.

Pinkie Pie: (hops up and down with excitement) Cool! Do the magic! Do the magic!

Applejack: Ah, I would rather have Big Mac use his tools to be honest.

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I don't know about Tigger doing so-called magic. (And Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy all nod in agreement.)

Derpy: I thought you were gonna cut a hole in the side of this car, Dis...

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (shuts her up before she can say Discord) Shhh! Not now, Derpy! I'm about to be brilliant!

Twilight Sparkle: Come on, Tigger. Everyone knows magicians can't REALLY do magic. It's impossible.

Fluttershy: But Twilight, what about Trixie?

Twilight Sparkle: ...okay, Trixie CAN do a bit of magic for a magician. But even so...

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): ALAKAZA...GASP! Is that Halley's Comet?

Everyone Else (except Sunrise): (all turn around) Where?! WHERE?!

*In no time at all the moment they all turn around (except Sunrise), Di...''Tigger'' snaps his ''Tigger paws'' and in a flash of light, Pinkie Pie's Marzipan Mascapone Meringue Madness is safely teleported inside the dessert car with no trouble at all.*

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Oh. Whoopsie. Sorry about that, ponies. You can turn back this way now. I must have been mistaken.

Rainbow Dash: (groans as she and the others turn back round) Ugh! Tigger, is this your idea of ANOTHER prank?! I think you were pulling our leg...

Pinkie Pie: (notices the cake isn't on Big Mac's back anymore) AGH! THE CAKE! IT'S GONE!

Everyone Else (except Sunrise who winks): Gone?!

Applejack: Well, Ah'll be!

Rarity: It...disappeared?!

Fluttershy: Where did it go?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (opens the dessert car door revealing Pinkie's cake inside) TA-DA! It's here! Safe and sound!

Everyone Else (except Sunrise): (gasp in awe)

Twilight Sparkle: Is it possible?

Rarity: Isn't there some mistake?

Rainbow Dash: What?! How?! WHAT?!

Applejack: Twi, ah thought ya'll said magicians couldn't really do real magic. Well, besides Trixie anyway. But...

Pinkie Pie: (clapping her hooves) WOOHOO! Way to go, Tigger! You really did it! That was the BEST magic trick I've ever see...oh no. Wait. I didn't see it. My back was turned. But...you did it anyway, so...YAY!

Pumbaa and Derpy: (both clapping and cheering) YAY!

Timon: Oh, calm down, you two. It wasn't THAT impressive.

Dr. Hooves: (looks at his sonic screwdriver) Hmph! Useless pile of junk!

Pinkie Pie: (embraces ''Tigger'' with a great big hug) Oh, thank you, Tigger! That was really nice of you to do that for us! How can I ever thank yo...wait! I know how I can thank you! Why don't you come along with me to the dessert competition in Canterlot too?!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (choking a little bit) Actually, P-Pinkie, the Doc, Derpy and I already agreed PJ doing that. Now, could you please let me go now?

Pinkie Pie: Oh. Right. Sorry. (Lets go of ''Tigger'') Well then, all aboard!

Casey Junior: FINALLY!

Pumbaa and Derpy: WOOHOO! Train ride time!

Timon: Oh, do calm down and save the excitement for when we get there.

Pumbaa and Derpy: Sorry.

*And so, Pinkie, Timon, Pumbaa, Derpy, Dr. Hooves and ''Tigger'' all get onboard the train in excitement. Well, Timon's not really that excited. But spoiler alert, his mood will soon change in the next chapter. It's not until Pinkie's about to close the door once they're all inside when she realizes something's off.*

Pinkie Pie: (notices Twilight and everyone else on the platform still) Huh? You're not coming with us?

Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, Pinkie Pie. I'm afraid a lot of us are really busy to come along to the National Dessert Competition this year. Apparently, there's a lot of studying I have to catch up on.

Sunrise Blossom: Yeah. And Rosemary will KILL ME if I don't feed her a BIG dinner to fill her up if I tagged along.

Rainbow Dash: I'm...(remembering the ice cream eating contest at Dodge Junction) not sure if I feel up to coming along either. Don't get me wrong. I'd love to join. But after all that ice cream you, me and Rarity ate at Dodge Junction...I'm trying to cut back a bit on the desserts.

Rarity: (bitterly) I thought we agreed never to speak of that again.

(In case anyone needs a reminder in case they have a memory of a goldfish, no offence, in the previous Dr. Hooves story which was an AU of The Last Roundup, we decided to make Twilight, Rainbow, Pinkie and everyone else end up hopelessly lost at a cafe' somewhere at Dodge Junction eating lots and LOTS of ice cream! Why? We wanted the story to focus more on the REAL stars like Timon, Pumbaa and others and...Twilight would probably slow everything down by being boring like she normally does in the actual show nowadays. And that's pretty much why they're not coming with Pinkie Pie to the dessert competition unlike the original Friendship Express episode.)

Applejack: Aw, nuts and shoes! If it wasn't Applebuck Season again right now, ah'd be more than happy to tag along. (Her head droops) But ah can't. Sorry.

Big Mac: Eeyup. And this time, AJ, you ain't handlin' all by yourself.

Applejack: Ah know, ah know.

Fluttershy: I wish I could come, but it's time for me to count how many adorable baby bunnies have been born.

Rarity: As much as I _love_ going to Canterlot, I have a number of backorders that I need to get back to in order to be ready for the new fashion season.

Pinkie Pie: Oh. Okay then. Well, we'll be sure to have a good time. And we'll tell you everything that happened to us when we come back.

Twilight Sparkle: (with a warm smile on her face) We look forward to hearing all about it, Pinkie.

Casey Junior: Alright, alright! Enough with the long goodbyes! Can we PLEASE get a move on now?! We're now LATE!

Pinkie Pie: Okay, okay! Geez! (Shuts the door)

Tillie: Ready back there, Casey?

Casey Junior: What do YOU think, sister? I've been ready for an AWFULLY long time! Now, come on! Start pulling and I'll push!

Tillie: (chuckles) Hold on tight, everyone!

*With a blow of the conductor's whistle and a wave of the green flag, the two engines slowly start moving and pulling out of the station. It's not that easy though considering Casey Junior has to push from behind the caboose as mentioned before...and he has no buffers or coupling rods. But apart from the difficulty, they're off!*

(And before anyone asks, yes. Donut Joe, Gustave and Mulia Mild are already onboard the train. In fact, in this version of the story, they were all waiting impatiently inside the train carriages/coaches for the other passengers to get onboard before the train had to leave. You honestly didn't think I forgot that the train doesn't leave until those three bickering chefs get onboard as well, did you?)

Twilight Sparkle: (waves them off until the trains are out of sight) Well, there they go.

Sunrise Blossom: Aw, it's a pity we can't go with them. I would've loved to have seen all the delicious food there.

Everyone Else (except Rainbow): (all nod their heads and murmur in agreement)

Rainbow Dash: (still a little sick from the previous Dr. Hooves story) Please, Sunrise. Don't...mention...food. (Tries to keep herself from throwing up)

Fluttershy: Well, at least Pinkie's not alone out there.

Applejack: With Timon, Pumbaa and Tigger around, ah sure hope they all stay out of any trouble.

Sunrise Blossom: Don't worry, Applejack. They have Dr. Hooves and Derpy with them. I'm sure they'll be fine.

Or WILL they?

Find out...in the next chapter...when we have more time...and whenever we feel like it.

* * *

A/N: Yes, this is a perfect way to end the chapter. Right, Sunny Bunny?

Sunrise Blossom: Absolutely!

Dede42: I'll see you all tomorrow. Bye for now! R&R everyone!


	3. Chapter 3: Enter the Chefs

A/N: This is a perfect and entertaining way to end the chapter!

* * *

The Climatic Return Of ''Tigger, Private Ear''! (Aka: Two Great Detectives Solve The MMMystery on the Friendship Express...With Help!): Chapter 3: Enter the Chefs

*...really, what needs to be said here other than the trains (Tillie at the front and Casey Junior at the back) are on their way to Canterlot with all their passengers (our main heroes) and a BIG cake onboard? Nothing. There's nothing more for me to go on about here. Just keep reading already!*

* * *

Pinkie Pie: Well, everyone. Looks like it's just us. I must say, thank you again for helping me get this cake safely on the dessert car, Tigger. I don't know how you managed to do magic like that.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (blushes) Aw, shucks! Hoo-hoo. Go on with you! It was nothing really.

Derpy: Well, thank YOU, Pinkie Pie, for letting us all go with you to the National Dessert Competition in Canterlot.

Pumbaa: Yeah. It's definitely been a long time since we've been anywhere fun together. Right, Timon?

Timon: (still remembering his past adventure with the Doc) Too long if you ask me, Pumbaa. Because everything we previously all did together wasn't that fun at all in the slightest. I hope this makes up for it.

Dr. Hooves: Oh, don't worry, Timon. I'm sure it will. I'm sure the festivities will be lovely.

Derpy: Aw, forget the festivities, Doc. I can't wait to try all those tasty treats! (Begins staring wide eyed at Pinkie's cake) Starting...with...this...really...(begins getting hungry)...delicious looking...(licks her lips)...CAKE!

Pumbaa: (also starting to get hungry and stares wide eyed at the cake) Ooh, I hear you, Derpy. I can practically taste it already.

Timon: Oh, please. I'm sure the cake can't be THAT good enough to eat right away. (Begins looking at the cake himself) C-c-c-can it? (Stomach rumbles) Aw, man! Now I'M getting a rumbly in my tummy! (Begins reaching out to touch it) Maybe if I just...(Pinkie Pie slaps his hand) OUCH! Pinkie, what the HECK?!

Pinkie Pie: (briefly dresses up as a certain fox in a fortune teller disguise and laughs) Naughty, naughty. You mustn't touch, young man.

Timon: Well, how dare you strike the roya...(sigh) WHY are we even quoting Robin Hood right now?

Pinkie Pie: (shrugs) I dunno. I kinda felt like it. (Takes off the Robin Hood/fortune teller disguise) Anyways, the festivities may be all good and well. But, the tastiest treat of them all is SURE to be the Cake' Marzipan Meringue Madness. Or you know, just ''MMMM'' for short.

Derpy, Timon and Pumbaa: (all staring up at the beautiful cake) MMMM!

Dr. Hooves and Di...''Tigger'': (a little uncertain about the three hungry friends next to them) Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Pinkie Pie: Exactly! It's the most delicious delectable delightful de-lovely cake in Equestria, and it's sure to win first prize.

A Voice With A French Accent From One Of The Rooms Of The Sleeper Car: Ziz is not so!

Pinkie Pie: Huh?

Dr. Hooves: Who said that?

Derpy: (gasps) THE CEILING CAN TALK! THIS TRAIN IS HAUNTED!

Pumbaa: (gets scared as well) HAUNTED?! B-b-by what? Evil time lords? Missy? Heffalumps?! Woozles?!

Gustave le Grand: (walks out of his room and into the dessert car towards everyone) No, you silly stupid English pig, you! Ziz train isn't a...how you say...''haunted''. It was ME talking! And I, Gustave le Grand, do challenge this pink pony's CRUDE cake to a duel of delectable delicacies against MY exceptionally Exquisite Eclairs!

Timon: (sighs in relief) Phew! It's okay, Pumbaa. He's French but at least he hasn't got our pal Speedy the Snail trapped in that tray.

Pumbaa: Just a minute! Who's he calling a pig?!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Not the time, Pumbaa.

Gustave le Grand: Behold! (folds his wing to reveal a gold tray holding a pyramid of eclairs covered in chocolate icing) Zeez eclairs of mine will undoubtably strike down all ze competition, winning first prize and crowing me le champion!

Another Voice Coming From One Of The Rooms Of The Sleeper Car: Not a chance, le Grand!

Derpy: (shrieks) THE HAUNTED CEILING IS TALKING AGAIN!

Dr. Hooves: Hold on, Derpy. That's...(sees Donut Joe coming out of his room and towards everyone) Donut Joe?

Donut Joe: That's me. The one and only.

Dr. Hooves: Huh. This is a bit of a shock. Last time I saw you, you were at your Donut Shop in Canterlot after The Grand Galloping Gala disaster happened. What are you doing here?

Donut Joe: You think I'd miss out on an event such as The National Dessert Competition? I'm pickin' up the final all-important ingredient for my contest entry, Donutopia! Take a look for yourself! (Shows his donut cart with a city made out of donuts covered with different piles of frosting)

Derpy: (amazed) Oh...my. You've certainly been busy.

Timon: Meh. I've seen better.

Dr. Hooves: Uh, how long did that take you to make?

Donut Joe: Oh, quite a while. But anyway, with these super-sprinkles, my donuts are going to dunk all the other lousy desserts, steal first prize, and make my donut shop famous FOREVER!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): EVER! EVER! EVER!

Donut Joe: (glances at ''Tigger'') Uhhh...who are you? And what are you doing?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Oh! Name's Tigger! T I Double G R! You know, from Winnie the Pooh? And I was just echoing you for dramatic effect!

Donut Joe: Dramatic effect, huh? I like it. A little weird, but still.

Yet ANOTHER Voice From Someone In The Sleeper Car: (laughs) Oh, Joe.

Timon: HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN ONBOARD THIS TRAIN BEFORE WE DID?!

Pumbaa: Easy, Timon. Easy.

Mulia Mild: (enters the dessert car as well with a low cart with a chocolate moose on it) Your dippy donuts could never out-rival ME! Not in a million years! (Laughs again)

Derpy: Oh, hey! It's Cranky Doodle Donkey's long lost friend! Hi, Matilda! You're taking part of this competition too?

Mulia Mild: ''Matilda''?! Who is this ''Matilda'' you speak of? I'm Mulia Mild!

Derpy: Oh! Sorry. You remind me of someone else who's a donkey kinda like you.

Mulia Mild: Meh. Don't worry about it. A lot of us donkeys in Equestria look alike. Anyway, BEHOLD! (Positions her chocolate moose into it's spot) My Chocolate Mousse Moose!

Timon: WHO COMES UP WITH THESE RIDICULOUS NAMES?!

Mulia Mild: My moose will trample all your treats, be given first prize, and make me the greatest chef in Equestria!

Gustave le Grand: (le scoff) Madame Mild, you and your...how you say...''mousse moose'' are mistaken!

Donut Joe: And so are you, Frenchy! Your frou-frou eclairs will never defeat my donuts!

Pinkie Pie: The Cakes' Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness is gonna win!

Mulia Mild: Ha! Your simple cake could never take my moose!

Timon: (shuts them all up) THAT IS ENOUGH! Geez, I swear, the three of you chefs are gonna give me a headache! Look, what's say we all just go to our rooms and settle down for a good night's sleep before things get any ugly? In fact, let's ALL head off to our rooms for some shut-eye, shall we, Pumbaa?

Pumbaa: But Timon, it's still daytime and...

Timon: SHHHH! Pumbaa, you'll ruin everything! Ahem! Let's all head off to our rooms for some shut-eye, shall we, Pumbaa? (Winks at Pumbaa)

Pumbaa: (sees what Timon is doing) Oh! I see! Ahem! (Does a fake yawn) Oh boy! Am I bushed after a long...afternoon? Yes. Let's all turn in for the night. Eh, Derpy? (Winks at Derpy)

Derpy: (sees what Timon and Pumbaa are doing) Huh? Oh! Right. (Also does a fake yawn) Nap time for me too, I suppose!

*Reluctantly agreeing, Donut Joe, Mulia Mild and Gustave le Grand leave the dessert car for the sleeper car, and they enter their respective rooms, slamming the doors shut behind them.*

Dr. Hooves: (notices Timon, Pumbaa and Derpy heading to the doorway) What are those three up to?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (snaps his ''Tigger paws'' to change his face into the Sheriff of Nottingham's face) There's somethin' funny goin' on around here.

Dr. Hooves: (begins quietly panicking so Pinkie doesn't hear) Discord! Don't give yourself away to Pinkie!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (turns his head back into a ''Tigger'' head again) Sorry.

Pinkie Pie: (blocks Timon, Pumbaa and Derpy's way) WAIT! Didn't you hear those chefs? We have to protect ''MMMM''!

Derpy: (nods to the cake) ''MMMM''?

Pinkie Pie: Mmm-hmm. I know for super sure that ''MMMM'' is the best dessert in all of Equestria, and I know that they know it too!

Timon: What's your point, kid?

Pinkie Pie: So... one of them is going to sabotage the Cakes' cake tonight! You have to help me stand guard!

Timon: Pfft! Not gonna happen, Pinks. If you want to waste countless hours staying guard, go for it, WE'RE going to bed! Come on, you two! (Goes into his room)

Pinkie Pie: B-b-but it's still the middle of the afternoon!

Pumbaa: Sorry, Pinkie. (Goes into the room where Timon is)

Derpy: See you in the morning, Pinkie. (Goes into her room)

Pinkie Pie: (watches them leave) Aww. I'll show those three! I'll stay up all night and protect this cake! Nothing or nopony will stop me from keeping it safe!

Dr. Hooves: Count me in, Pinkie Pie!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Me too! Let me just grab some reinforcements.

Pinkie and Dr. Hooves: (confused) Uhhh...reinforcements?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (puts on his magician's hat and gets his fake wand out again) Sure! ALAKAZA...HARK! There's something out that window, Pinkie!

Pinkie Pie: WHAT?! (Quickly goes to the window and looks out) WHERE?!

*With a snap of his ''Tigger paws'', in a flash of light, who should appear right in front of Dr. Hooves and Di...''Tigger'' but...Nutsy and Trigger?*

Trigger: (lands on the ground) Oof! What the-? (Takes in his surroundings) Where am I? (Sees the three creatures) Who are you people? Did one of you bring me here? Stay back! I've got Ol' Betsy here and I'm not afriad to use it!

Nutsy: (also taking in his surroundings) Ooh! I know where we are, Trigger! I think...uhhhhhhhhh...we're on some kind of a...what are they called? Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know! A train! We're on a train, Trigger!

Trigger: I know what a train is, Nutsy! What I don't know is how we got here and why we're even here in the first place! Now, speak up, you three! Who summoned us?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): It was me! ''Tigger'' the Great Magician! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Nutsy: Heh. Well, whaddya know, Trigger? His name's similar to yours! Except without the letter ''r'' before the ''i''!

Trigger: Nutsy, button your beak!

Pinkie Pie: Gee, Tigger. He seems a little...mad.

Dr. Hooves: Dis...I mean...''Tigger''! Why did you bring these two here? What do we need reinforcements for anyway?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): What? It's not like the three of us can guard this here cake all night long all by ourselves, can we? What if we fall asleep?

Pinkie Pie: I think he may have a point, Doc. It's gonna be tough staying up all night. Maybe having these two helping us guard the ''MMMM'' all night with us could be handy.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): And entertaining?

Dr. Hooves: Entertaining?

Pinkie Pie: Well, sure! Haven't you seen everything Trigger's been putting up with?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Exactly! With Nutsy here being...well, Nutsy, we'll have no choice but to stay awake!

Nutsy: (whispers) Psst, Trigger! What are they talking about?

Trigger: Heck if I know, birdbrain. Okay, you three. What's the deal here bringing us here as ''reinforcements''? And what's this here big ol' cake onboard this train for anyway? And...what's all this about needing help staying awake guarding it? And what does Nutsy have to do with the ''staying awake'' part?

Dr. Hooves: You'd better tell him, Pinkie. It's YOUR cake, after all.

Pinkie Pie: Well, you see, there's this National Dessert Competition in Canterlot and...

* * *

Spongebob Squarepants Narrator With The French Accent: A few very boring minutes of explaining later...

Trigger: Alright, alright. Let me see if Nutsy and I understand you three correctly. You're saying that this big ol' cake here is something you want to win in a dessert competition of some kind at wherever this train is headed, and three other chefs who are also onboard also want their own desserts to win the competition, and you've automatically jumped to the conclusion that one of them might sabotage your cake in the middle of the night, so that's why this ''Tigger'' brought us here with his magic act so that my guarding skills or Nutsy's antics can somewhat help you stay awake enough to keep watch of the cake all night long. Is that right?

Pinkie Pie: Yeah, that's pretty much the long and short of it all.

Trigger: (reluctantly giving in) Well, it's not like the two of us can do anything better right now anyway now that we're here. And since King Richard returned to the throne, I've been looking for a new job anyway so...count me in. You in, Nutsy?

Nutsy: ...

Trigger: Nutsy?

Nutsy: ...I didn't understand a word any of you were talking about. Would you all mind repeating that again for me?

*Pinkie, the Doc and ''Tigger'' all faint while Trigger just groans in annoyance.*

* * *

A/N: This chapter is over and with a great and funny ending. I will see you all on Friday because I need to get ready for work at the movie theater. Bye for now! R&R everyone!


	4. Chapter 4: Midnight Raid!

A/N: Thanks for this and I'll see if I can add anything to it.

* * *

The Climatic Return Of ''Tigger, Private Ear''! (Aka: Two Great Detectives Solve The MMMystery on the Friendship Express...With Help!): Chapter 4: Midnight Raid!

*See how the night sky glows. See the light of the night train. The fire glow from the night train. Hear how the whistle blo...oops! Sorry! Got caught singing a Thomas the Tank Engine Season 5 song right there, didn't I? Well, can you blame me? I mean, it IS night time right now, and the trains (Tillie at the back and Casey Junior at the front) are still pulling the coaches/cars across the train tracks with everyone onboard. Technically, right now, it IS a night train! (Cue rimshot) Huh? Huh? Oh, never mind. I wasn't that funny anyway. Let's just see what's going on onboard the train this evening, shall we? Cue the Disney

Robin Hood sneaky jailbreak music!*

* * *

Nutsy: (peeps his head out the window) ELEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN O'CLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL's...

Casey Junior: WILL YOU SHUT UP IN THERE? PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!

Tillie: Where, Casey? In case you've forgotten, we're not people. We're trains.

Casey Junior: I WASN'T REFERRING TO US, TILLIE!

* * *

Trigger: (marches back and forth in front of the cake) Nutsy, stop shouting out the window and just do your job!

Nutsy: I thought I was.

Trigger: And have you looked at the clock over there? It's MIDNIGHT!

Nutsy: I didn't even know train carriages had clocks inside.

Trigger: (groan) Without question, you three, I have the WORST partner EVER!

Dr. Hooves: (takes off some earmuffs he got from Pinkie) I think I'm beginning to see what you mean, Trigger.

Trigger: Seriously...''Tigger'' or whatever your name is, did you have to bring me AND Nutsy here to guard the cake with you all night long? I would've preferred it if I was doing this myself!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): I didn't think Nutsy's antics would be THAT bad until now.

Pinkie Pie: (on the verge of falling asleep) Well, I don't know about you guys, but...(yawns)...this staying up all night guarding this cake thing is proving to be a tough challenge. (Another yawn) I can barely keep my eyes open.

Dr. Hooves: Easy there, Pinkie. We all have to stay awake. Remember?

Trigger: The Doc's right, pink one. We've made it this far. Besides, everything ain't ''all's well'' like Nutsy claims it is. I got an eerie feeling in my bones that something's gonna jump out and take a bite of this thing when we least expect it. I just KNOW it.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (sees Trigger's crossbow pointing at them) GASP!

Dr. Hooves: Hey! Be careful with that thing!

Pinkie Pie: Watch where you aim that...sharp...pointy...dangerous thing you always carry with you.

Trigger: Oh, please. Ol' Betsy's not THAT dangerous. (Accidentally fires his crossbow by patting it causing the arrow to fly about all over the place) AAAAH! Not again! DUCK!

('Tigger', Dr. Hooves, Pinkie Pie, Trigger, and Nutsy scatter and dive around to avoid the flying arrow that is bouncing off the walls, the floor, and during all of this madness, it somehow keeps missing all of the desserts until-)

Nutsy: (guess where the arrow lands) OUCH! Who's playing a game of darts on me?

Trigger: Whoops! Sorry, Nutsy! Hmm. I guess Ol' Betsy could do with a few more tuneups here and there.

Dr. Hooves: Uh, yeah! YOU THINK?!

*All of a sudden, without any warning whatsoever, a shadowy figure zooms behind them!*

Pinkie Pie: Huh? What was that?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Over there!

Trigger: (spots the figure) HEY! YOU THERE!

Nutsy: Hmm? Who? Me?

Trigger: No, not you, you idiot!

Pinkie Pie: Stop, you saboteur!

Nutsy: ...uhhhhhhhh...what's a saboteur?

Dr. Hooves: After it!

*With a blow of a trumpet by Dis...''Tigger'', everyone (except Nutsy because he's too dumb) chases after the figure through the cars until they reach the last one where Casey Junior is still pushing the train from behind.*

Trigger: A-HA! (Nearly trips on the railing) Oof! (Quickly gets back up again) End of the line, cake sabotager!

Casey Junior: EXCUSE me?

Trigger: Just tell me why you're trying to sabotage this pink pony's cake and nobody gets hurt!

Pinkie Pie: Uh, Trigger? I don't think...

Casey Junior: Cake? CAKE?! Why would I do such a thing like that? What would a train even WANT with cake anyway? Trains can't even EAT!

Trigger: ...then, why do you trains even have faces?

Dr. Hooves: Trigger...

Casey Junior: And how can I be sabotaging a cake WHEN I'M OUT HERE PUSHING THE TRAIN?!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Trigger...

Trigger: He's clean.

Dr. Hooves: Well, we were trying to tell you.

Trigger: (nervous chuckle) Sorry for wasting your time, buddy.

*Unable to find the figure, they return to the dessert car when they see ANOTHER shadowy figure wearing a hat.*

Trigger: A-HA...again! THERE you are! Don't move!

*As soon as the shadowy figure hears Trigger shout, it makes a run for it towards the front of the train.*

Pinkie Pie: Uhh, it's not stopping, Trigger.

Trigger: I can see that, ya loon! I'm not as dumb as Nutsy, y'know!

Dr. Hooves: Well, that's a little bit harsh, isn't it?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Don't worry! I'll head it off! (Snaps his ''Tigger paws'' and he disappers in a flash of light)

Pinkie Pie: Go get 'em, Tigger!

Trigger: (utterly confused) Okay, does anyone have any idea how he can even DO magic tricks like that in the first place?

Dr. Hooves: (begins to sweat nervously) Um...he's just lucky?

* * *

*And here, we see the inside of Tillie's cab where the engineer or train driver would normally be driving the train or shovelling coal into the firebox or...wait, why would Tillie even NEED a driver? She has the ability to travel wherever she wants to just fine without one just like Casey Junior. I mean, Thomas tried going somewhere without his driver driving him once. It didn't end well if anyone remembers the story ''Thomas Comes To Breakfast''. Okay, enough rambling inbetween narrations/script directions. Enter The Lord of Chaos!*

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (reappears just behind the shadowy figure) AHA! HALT! State your name, business and favorite brands of cereal! I...huh?

*Oh, hard luck, Discord. It's only an engineer shovelling coal. And a pretty weird looking one too. Look at those tusks! I wonder what kind of creature that ''engineer'' is?*

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): That's funny. I thought for sure I saw someone suspicious looking. Oh well. (Snaps his ''Tigger'' paws and disappears yet again)

* * *

*Back in the dessert car where Nutsy and Trigger are once again trying to guard the cake with their lives with Pinkie and the Doc while waiting for their ''bouncy'' buddy...*

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (reappears) Surprise!

Trigger: AGK! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! (Fires Ol' Betsy again)

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): YIPE! (tries to dodge the arrow as best as he can again) Wait! Whoa! Hey! False alarm, Trigger! False alarm! It's me, ''Tigger''!

Nutsy: (the arrow lands on his nose this time) OUCH! My nose!

Trigger: Uhh...sorry...again.

Pinkie Pie: Oh, Tigger! Thank Celestia it's you!

Dr. Hooves: Did you manage to find the shadowy figure, Di...''Tigger''?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Nope. I think I may have lost it. How's the cake?

Pinkie Pie: Still in one piece...for now. But I'm sure one of those bakers is mixing up something bad. I'm SURE of it!

Dr. Hooves: Well, from this point on, no matter what happens, we are not to leave this spot whatsoever! Are we all clear on that?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Loud and clear, Doc!

Pinkie Pie: Okie Dokie Lokie!

Trigger: (salutes) Yes, sir!

Nutsy: ...do what now?

*Then, all of a sudden, right when they least expect it, the blinds all snap shut, plunging the car into utter darkness.*

Pinkie Pie: (shrieks in terror) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! IT'S GONE DARK! WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (also terrified) SPOOKABLES! LEG IT!

Dr. Hooves: Leg it?! Where? IT'S TOO DARK TO SEE ANYTHING! (Accidently steps onto Trigger's foot)

Trigger: OW! (Fires Ol' Betsy by accident for the third time in a row) OH, NOT AGAIN!

Dr. Hooves: HEADS UP!

Nutsy: (arrow lands on his leg) MY LEG!

Trigger: Sorry!

Pinkie Pie: (hears footsteps from somewhere in the car) Wait! I think I hear someone! (Begins charging around in the dark to stop the possible theif) Stop, theif! Don't go near that cake! (Hears a familair grunt) Oh, are you okay theif?

*There is no answer from the puny shadowy figure as it just opens the door and rushes straight back to the nearby sleeper car without saying a word.*

Pinkie Pie: (growls in frustration) Overreacting, my HOOF! (Opens the blinders and returns to her post) I knew we were going to have to keep a close eye on you. And that's JUST what we're gonna do! Right, guys? (There is no answer) Guys?

*Oh, deary me. It would appear that our soon to be ''Private Ear'' yet again has knocked himself unconscious by running straight into a wall whilst he was panicking in the dark. The Doc seems to have also knocked himself out by running into the table whilst dodging Trigger's arrow whilst also in the dark. Nutsy's knocked out for having Trigger's arrow land on him more than once this chapter. And Trigger...he just faints at the sight.*

Pinkie Pie: (gulps) I guess this means I'm on my own now. Still, that's okay. I've made it this far without falling asleep. I can't give up now! (Stares intensly at the cake for several seconds...until falling fast asleep, snoring loudly)

(Well, that didn't last long. Cake saboteurs: 1 point each. Our heroes: 0.)

* * *

A/N: This is a perfect way to end the chapter, and I'll see you when you get back from your vacation, online brother. Bye for now! R&R everyone!


	5. Chapter 5: Whodunnut! Part 1

A/N: Thanks for providing this, online brother! Yes, I am updating tomorrow, and I think that we should do an AU version of the Magic Duel, but doing deleted scenes first will be fun, too. And that song from Sword in the Stone is now stuck in my head.

* * *

The Climatic Return Of ''Tigger, Private Ear''! (Aka: Two Great Detectives Solve The MMMystery on the Friendship Express...With Help!): Chapter 5: Whodunnut?!

*The next morning, Pinkie Pie is...oh dear. Still passed out on the floor snoring loudly so it seems. And everyone else is still knocked unconscious from running into things when all the blinders mysteriously closed by themselves last night. Gee, will anything wake this lot up? Oh, hey! Listen to that! A rooster crowing conveniently out of nowhere!*

Pinkie Pie: (wakes up) Huh? What? Morning already? (Gasps) The cake! (Sees everyone else still knocked out on the floor) Come on, you guys! Get up!

Dr. Hooves: (regains consciousness and sits up) Ugh. My stomach. Why does it feel like I ran straight into a table in the dark?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (also regaining consciousness) Ugh. Sweet Lords of Chao...(realises Pinkie is present) I mean...Sweet mother of Christopher Robin. What happened last night?

Nutsy: (still laying on the floor whilst regaining consciousness) Don't ask me. All I know is the safety is definitely NOT on Ol' Betsy.

Trigger: (also waking up after fainting last chapter) Ugh. For once, you're right, Nutsy. Maybe I should get myself a new weapon of some sort.

Pinkie Pie: Guys, this is no time for sitting down! We gotta check the cake!

Dr. Hooves: Huh? Oh, yes! Of course! The cake! Right. (Stands up and inspects the cake) Hmm. Looks to me like it's a-ok, Pinkie.

Pinkie Pie: (has a look at the cake herself) Hey. You're right, Doc! Oh, MMMM, you still look mmmm-marvellous.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Ain't that the truth?

Trigger: Right. (Long pause) So, um...we all good? Is our guarding job over now? Can ''Mr. Magic Tiger...Thing'' magic Nutsy and I back home to Nottingham now?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Huh? Oh! Of course! Right away! (Gets out his fake wand for the third time) Ahem! ALAKAZA...

Nutsy: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Huh?

Trigger: (groans in frustration) What do you want, Nutsy? Don't you realise we're not needed here anymore? Don't you want to go back home?

Nutsy: Have another good look at the cake!

Dr. Hooves: (does just that) Um...I AM. And...I don't see anything wrong with it. Do you, Pinkie?

Pinkie Pie: Nope. Not a thing.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Me neither.

Trigger: Nutsy, just HOW dumb are you this morning?

Nutsy: Well, I may be dumb, but I definitely don't remember the cake with three large bite marks.

Trigger: Three large bite marks? What are you talking abo...(sighs) Nutsy, turn the cake around so we can see what you're seeing.

Nutsy: Okay. (Turns the cake around revealing three large bite marks on it) There. You see?

Pinkie Pie: (gasps in horror) It's true!

Dr. Hooves: Oh...my.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): UNBELIEVABIBBLE!

Trigger: (sarcastically) Oh, great. I guess that means we're still stuck here for a while.

*At a time like this, what can Pinkie Pie do? Scream at the top of her lungs causing everyone else onboard the train to wake up. Sure. Why not? Like that will accomplish anything. Well, actually, it DOES accomplish something. Look who's come back rushing into the car.*

Timon: (rushes in in a panic) What? What is it? What's all the screaming about?

Pumbaa: (also rushes in in a panic) What happened? Arson? Murder? JAYWALKING?!

Derpy: (she rushes in too and gasps) D-d-doc? Y-you don't think there was an invasion of your enemies we've encounters in the past like Missy...(gulps)...do you?

Dr. Hooves: No, Derpy. You'll be pleased to know there hasn't been an invasion.

Derpy: Phew! What a relief!

Pinkie Pie: It's much worse than that! It's the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness! It's been...MUTILATED! (Shows them all the cake bites)

Timon, Pumbaa and Derpy: (all gasp in horror)

Trigger: Yep. That's pretty much the reactions all of us had already. Well, except me anywa...

Derpy: (begins to panic) AGK! NUTSY AND TRIGGER! IT IS AN INVASION!

Pumbaa: (begins panicking as well) OH NO! WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT DO WE DO?

Dr. Hooves: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm you down, you two. It turns out that these two are reformed now. Remember, we went there once. And Prince John doesn't rule Nottingham anymore.

Derpy: (uncertainly) They are?

Trigger: You mean to say you haven't been paying attention to the final scene of our movie?

Nutsy: Huh? What? ''Reformed''? What does that mean?

(Seriously though, it's never really explained how or why Nutsy and Trigger were all of a sudden reformed right at the very end of the film and watching over Prince John, Hiss and the Sheriff at the Royal Rock Pile. Actually, I believe there's a fanfic by Disneyfangirl774 I once came across back in 2017 before Easter. It's called ''Nutsy and Trigger Apologize''. As the title suggests, it most likely explains their sudden reformation. Give it a good read and let me know what you think of it, online sister. I think you might like it.)

Timon: Um...so, what do we do about this cake now then?

Pumbaa: What? You mean you don't have any ideas, Timon? I thought you were the BRAINS of the outfit!

Pinkie Pie: Well, I definitely have a wonderful idea! Tigger, what would good ol' ''Tigger, Private Ear'' do at a time like this?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (begins remembering those Tigger, Private Ear episodes he watched a long time ago as a young one like everyone else in this world) Of course! (Snaps his ''Tigger paws'' causing his ''Private Ear'' getup to appear on him) Why, he would try and find out who it was who sabotaged this cake!

Pinkie Pie: Exactly! (Puts a detective hat of her own on her head) Time to find out who done it!

Derpy: Um, you mean, who DID it?

Pinkie Pie: Yep. That's what I said. Who did-done-dood it.

Derpy: (really confused) Uhhhhh...I'm not sure if that's even a real word.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): And ''Onomatopoeia'' IS a word?

Everyone Else: (utterly confused) Huh?

Pumbaa: ''Onomato...''-what now?

Timon: WHY would you ever say that?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Why WOULDN't ya say it? (Begins the onomatopoeia dance from the movie ''Springtime With Roo'') Onomatopoeia! Onomatopoeia! Onomatopoeia! It's an onomatopoeia!

Trigger: Can we just get down to the matter at hand and be quick about it, Mr. ''Private Ear''? I still wanna go back home!

Nutsy: Aww! But I like it here!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Oh. Right. Sorry. Alright, Detective Pink. What do we do first?

Pinkie Pie: Well, from what Twilight's told me about mystery novels, I've heard that the only way to discover the culprit is to do some investigating.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): And that's exactically what we're gonna do!

Timon: (skeptically) Wait. YOU'RE investigating?

Pinkie Pie: That we are, my dear Timon. Just like Basil of Baker Street. Doctor, you and the vultures can be our lowly assistants who ask silly questions with obvious answers.

Dr. Hooves: (uncertain at first) Oh. Well, um...alright then.

Nutsy: Yay! We're assistants!

Trigger: Why do you have to bring Nutsy and me into this, Pinkie?

Pinkie Pie: Perfect silly question, Trigger. Because I can!

Dr. Hooves: Um, shouldn't you be asking her a more suitable silly question right now, Trigger?

Trigger: Like what?

Dr. Hooves: Well, what about something like ''should we start looking for clues'' or something like that?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Save your breath, Trigger. For the obvious answer is...

Trigger: Yes?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): NO! 'Cause I, the one and only Tigger, Private Ear, know who did it!

*The group gasps in shock!*

Had our stripey lord of...I mean ''friend'' REALLY solved the case? Well, you'll just have to wait until the next chapter to find out. Yeah, a long wait, I know. But that's just how we roll.

* * *

A/N: Yup, this chapter is done with and I will see you all tomorrow. Bye for now! R&R everyone!


	6. Chapter 6: Whodunnut! Part 2

A/N: My siblings all beat me at bowling, but that's fine since it was all for fun. Even my own nephews managed to beat me. Anyway, time to wrap up this chapter. Onward!

* * *

The Climatic Return Of ''Tigger, Private Ear''! (Aka: Two Great Detectives Solve The MMMystery on the Friendship Express...With Help!): Chapter 6: Whodunnut?! (Part 2: False Accusations!)

*Well, the so called ''long wait'' is over. Does our stripey Lord of Chao...whoopsie! I mean stripey ''Private Ear'' REALLY know who sabotaged the cake? Let's cut back to everyone onboard the train to find out.*

* * *

Trigger: (wrong-footed by ''Tigger'''s announcement at the end of the previous chapter) Are you kidding me right now? How could you possibly know?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): I'm a Private Ear, of course! How could I possibly NOT know? It's come to my attention that clearly, this dastardly deed must've been done by a baker, who knew their dessert could not measure up to the mastery of the...of the...um...what's it called again, Pinkie?

Pinkie Pie: The Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Yeah! That! I guess your eclairs lacked flair, Gustave!

*Oh, hey. Guess what? The groups gasps in shock...again.*

Gustave le Grand: (utterly confused and begins sweating nervously) Me? You're-you're blaming moi? Mon dieu! You cannot be...how you say...''serious'' about zat! Ziz clearly has to be a Joke?

Dr. Hooves: Um, Mr. Private Ear, are you absolutely certain it was him who did it?

Trigger: Yeah. And how would you even know it was him when you knocked yourself unconscious by running straight into a wall even the blinders mysteriously shut last night?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (realises Trigger's right) Oh yeah. Right. Well, take a look at him. He looks pretty shifty to me.

Gustave le Grand: Moi? Shifty? Now, see here!

Pinkie Pie: You're absolutely right, my dear Private Ear. For I too also believe it was le Grand who did it as well.

Gustave le Grand: What? You too? Ziz cannot be!

Pinkie Pie: And I think it's pretty obvious how you pulled it off.

* * *

(Gustave le Grand, in a 1920 silent movie styled villain outfit, sneaks into the dessert car, grabs our heroes and ties them all to the tracks, returns to the dessert car and processes to slice the "MMMM" into pieces.)

* * *

Pinkie Pie: Thus, destroying the cake and the Cakes' chance of winning the National Dessert Competition!

Trigger: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT a minute there! That did NOT happen last night!

Pinkie Pie and Dis..''Tigger'': It didn't?

Trigger: No, you two bumbling idiots! Don't you remember ANYTHING that happened at all? We were there with you!

Dr. Hooves: I'm sad to say that I agree with him on this one, I'm afraid. I mean, I definitely don't remember any of that happening either. And another thing, if you and Di...''Tigger'' were tied to the train tracks about to get hit by Tillie when we were unconscious, then HOW are you now HERE?!

Pinkie Pie: (blinks and realises they're both right) Huh... Guess that isn't a totally silly question. What do you say, Mr. Private Ear?

Trigger: Plus, the cake wasn't sliced! (Points to the damage of the cake) It's been bitten. Remember? Look at those big teeth marks!

Nutsy: I noticed them first.

Trigger: Yes, Nutsy. Thank you. We know that already.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Hmm. You're exactically right, my fine fellow birdbrain.

Trigger: HEY!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): If Gustave le Grand is clearly in the clear...

Gustave le Grand: Phew!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Then I can safely say, the ''MMMM'' was destroyed by some OTHER baker! A baker whose donuts are do-nots! I am of course taking about...Donut Joe!

*Everyone gasps...again...for the SECOND time this particular chapter and THIRD time overall if you count the previous chapter. Get used to this, people. They're gonna be gasping quite a lot here.*

Donut Joe: Me? You think I'M the one who destroyed it? For real? What nonsense! I haven't been anywhere NEAR that cake!

Dr. Hooves: ''Tigger'', what makes you think he's the one who did it? He seems pretty innocent to me.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Ah, don't let him fool you. He looks pretty shifty to me as well.

Pinkie Pie: Me too. And I think know how he managed to do it. For I believe he's known in the spy world as Mane. Con Mane.

Trigger: What?

* * *

(Donut Joe, dress in a James Bond styled tux, uses spy tech to sneak into the dessert car, knocks out our heroes, avoids the laser beam security, and processes to crush the "MMMM" into a pancake.)

* * *

Pinkie Pie: ...crushing the Cakes' chance to win!

Trigger: OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD ALREADY! THERE IS NO LASER BEAM SECURITY! The only security around here was Nutsy and myself!

Nutsy: And Ol' Betsy.

Trigger: DON'T TOUCH THAT! (Too late! Nutsy touches Ol' Betsy and the arrow goes all over the place again) OH, YOU IDIOT!

*Gee Louise! This must be a world record since Ol' Betsy only kept going wrong only THREE times in Robin Hood. I've lost count on how many times this has happened this fanfic. Anyway, the arrow yet again goes bouncing all over the place whilst everyone tries to dodge it again until...*

Timon: (arrow lands on his rear end this time) YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Derpy: (gasps) Oh my goodness!

Pumbaa: Timon! Are you alright, bestest best friend? Speak to me!

Timon: GET! THIS! OFF! ME!

Trigger: (nervous laugh) Sorry...some guy I don't know. Anyway, back to the matter at hand here, you two. There is no laser beam security. And Donut Joe is not sleek, stealthy Con Mane. He's big, gruff, and messy!

Donut Joe: HEY!

Dr. Hooves: And again, the cake wasn't crushed or sliced. It was bitten.

Nutsy: I found the bite marks first.

Trigger: WE KNOW!

Pinkie Pie: (becomes thoughtful) Hmm. Mr. Private Ear? Your thoughts?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Well, I think those two MAY be right.

Dr. Hooves and Trigger: ''May''?

Trigger: What do you mean ''may''?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (looks at the three intact desserts) I mean, Trigger, that now that Pinkie and I are taking a more closer look at these desserts, I'm seeing one that simply can't look me in my Private Ear eyes. (Eyes the chocolate moose)

Dr. Hooves: Uh, forgive me for sounding rude, Mr. Private Ear, sir, but that moose is a mousse.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): And what is it that Pinkie and I are seeing behind this moose mousse?

Pinkie Pie: (already sees where this is going) A mule who panicked when she saw the mastery of the ''MMMM''...at least, I THINK that's what you're seeing. Because that's definitely what I'M seeing here!

Mulia Mild: (also seeing where this is going) Uh oh.

Trigger: (covers his face and groans) Ugh. So, you're both saying that the culprit is...

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Well, it's pretty obvious, ain't it? I mean, she's the only chef left! It HAS to be Mulia if it wasn't the other two! Am I right?

Pinkie Pie: I couldn't agree with you more, my dear Private Ear. And here's how I think she managed to pull it off.

(Ninja Mulia sneaks into the dessert car with Mushu on her shoulder, and she has him flame our heroes to make them run for cover. Ninja Mulia then pulls out her katana and slices the cake into pieces!)

Pinkie Pie: ...putting an end to the Cakes' dreams of taking first prize. (Faces the dumb-founded female donkey) Huh, I hope you're proud of yourself, Mulia.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (snaps his ''Tigger paws'' to make a pair of handcuffs appear out of thin air) Would you like to come along quitely, Madame?

Trigger: (having heard quite enough) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGK! WHERE AM I?! IN CRAZY TOWN?! THAT! IS! ENOUGH!

Nutsy: Uh, Trigger. Do calm down. You're getting a little...

Trigger: I AM CALM! I JUST WANT THIS CASE OVER WITH SO WE CAN GET BACK HOME TO NOTTINGHAM QUICKER! IS THAT SO DIFFICULT ASK?!

Dr. Hooves: I think what Trigger's trying to say is that we don't think Muila's the culprit either. Plus, a donkey ninja with a pet dragon? (Snickers a little) Pinkie, don't you think that's a little silly?

Pumbaa: (rolling around on the floor laughing hysterically) A ninja donkey and her pet dragon! Ahahahahahahah! That's even funnier than a pie in someone's face! (Continues laughing hysterically)

Timon: Sheesh! Get a hold of yourself, Pumbaa. It wasn't that funny. Right, Derp...(notices Derpy also laughing hysterically on the floor) Oh, of course.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Well, Pinkie, I don't know about you, but...(disappointed sigh)...I give up.

Pinkie Pie: (also a little disappointed) I know what you mean, Tigger. I thought for sure it was one of those bitter bakers destroyed ''MMMM'' too. That way, their desserts would reign supreme.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Yeah. I mean, take a look Donut Joe's Donutopia over there. That's practically a spectacular city of delectibibble donutty delight, topped temptingly in sprinklicious sprinkles.

Pinkie Pie: Don't forget about Gustave's incredibly edible looking eclairs with glistening glaziness. That looks just as delicious as the ''MMMM'' too.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): And how can anyone not say the same thing about Mulia's Moose Mousse and all that yummy-nummy chocolateness?

Pinkie Pie: The thing is though, why did the criminal devour the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness while leaving this trio of tasty treats untouched?

*At that EXACT moment, the train enters a tunnel causing everything to go dark again. And yes, this startles Nutsy.*

Nutsy: (starts panicking) AGK! HELP! IT'S DARK IN HERE AGAIN!

Trigger: It's alright, Nutsy. We're just going through a long tunnel. Nothing to be frightened off.

Nutsy: (hears loud munching noises) THEN WHY DO I HEAR THE SOUNDS OF FOOD BEING EATEN?! IT'S GHOSTS, I TELLS YA, TRIGGER! GHOSTS! (steps on Trigger's foot)

Trigger: OW! (Fires Ol' Betsy by accident...again) OH, NOT AGAIN, YOU CLUMSY HALF-WITTED FOOL!

*As soon as the train leaves the tunnel, SWEET MOTHER OF BANANAS! The group gasps as they see that donuts, the eclairs, and the chocolate moose had all been eaten! But...where did Trigger's runaway arrow go this time? Well, the windows are open, so that must mean...*

Casey Junior's Voice: OW! Oh, this is just GREAT! Not only do I have to push the train from behind, I GET AN ARROW THROWN AT ME!

Trigger: (calls out the window) Sorry!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (stares in horror and confusion at the site of the devoured desserts) What do you make of this, Pinkie?

Pinkie Pie: (also staring in horror and confusion) All I can say now is that I definitely have NO idea who do-doned it!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Neither do I. This mystery gets more mysterious every minute. (Disappointed sigh) Some Private Ear I turned out to be. (Whispers to himself) If only the REAL Tigger, Private Ear was here with me right now.

Nutsy: So...what do we do now?

Dr. Hooves: Well, I think the best thing to do right now is to try and find out the truth and solve this case properly like Basil of Baker Street. It's no use making wild guesses like Pinkie and...''Tigger'' have been doing. It just got us nowhere real fast. Everyone go back to your cars while we do a little investigating.

(Every pony, and creature, exchanges looks before they exit the dessert car to wait to see what Dr. Hooves will come up with.)

* * *

A/N: And this chapter is done! I inserted the flashback scene with a fun twist, and I will see you tomorrow. Bye for now! R&R everyone!


	7. Chapter 7: Whodunnit! Part 3

A/N: Hey, online brother, thanks for this, and I'm still working on getting better. Onward!

* * *

The Climatic Return Of ''Tigger, Private Ear''! (Aka: Two Great Detectives Solve The MMMystery on the Friendship Express...With Help!): Chapter 7: Whodunnit?! (Part 3: Blue's Clues Styled Clue Hunting!)

*We're still inside the train coaches right now. It's a continuation of the previous chapter. Must I say more about where these chapters still take place to you people? Sheesh!*

Pinkie Pie: So, what's the plan, Doc?

Dr. Hooves: Well, firstly, please don't call me ''doc''.

Trigger: Are you EVER going to explain to anyone WHY you don't like anyone calling you that?

Dr. Hooves: (ignoring Trigger): Secondly, is it alright with you if I borrow your detective hat for a while, Pinkie?

Pinkie Pie: Oh. Sure. (Gives Dr. Hooves her detective hat) Here ya go.

Dr. Hooves: (puts the hat on) Thank you. Now, thirdly, in order to finish this mystery once and for all, we're going to have to find clues. (Blows a few bubbles out of the pipe)

Trigger: (about to lose his sanity again) F-f-find... clues?!

Dr. Hooves: Uh...yeah. That's what I just said. Find clues. Why?

Nutsy: (noticing Trigger about to lose his sanity again) Trigger? You alright, buddy?

Trigger: (bangs head repeatedly on a wall) WHY! DIDN'T! WE! DO! THAT! IN! THE! FIRST! PLACE?! (Suddenly stops) Oh, great. Now, I have a headache.

Pinkie Pie: Uh, I think he may be onto something there, guys. Why DIDN'T we look for clues in the first place last night?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Yeah. It probably would've saved more time and this case would've been over and done with by now.

Dr. Hooves: (remembers the previous night) Hmm. I guess we were too busy chasing the cake saboteur to think about gathering clues as to who it might be and why it would do such a thing.

Trigger: Well, you could've stopped us from chasing it if you wanted to search for clues last night seeing as how you're the only sane man...err...pony!

Dr. Hooves: Never mind that now, Trigger. Anyway, back to business here. We were all here at the scene of the crime last night. Is that correct?

Nutsy, Trigger and ''Tigger'': (all nod their heads and say yes)

Pinkie Pie: Wait. Are you accusing ME of eating the cake in my SLEEP while everyone else was passed out? How DARE you!

Dr. Hooves: What? No! Don't be such a silly billy! What I'm saying is that maybe one of us SAW something while we were all chasing after the thief that might help us.

Pinkie Pie: (realising what he means) Oh, I see. Well...I can't really remember everything that happened last night.

Trigger: YOU WHAT?!

Pinkie Pie: Well, it all happened so fast, didn't it? What do YOU remember seeing that could help us right now?

Dr. Hooves: Well, firstly, I remember Mr. Private Ear seeing some kind of shadowy silhouette zoom right past us.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): I did?

Dr. Hooves: Yes. Then Trigger spotted it. And then you did, Pinkie.

Pinkie Pie: Oh yeah. It's all coming back to me now.

Dr. Hooves: Good. So, let's retrace our steps.

Nutsy: (confused) Retrace our steps? Does that mean we all have to reenact everything that happened last night all over again making it look like we're rehearsing a scene for a movie or something?

Dr. Hooves: Of course we don't have to reenact everything that happened last night all over again. What do you think this is? Spongebob retracing his steps over and over again all because he lost his nametag? No. What I mean by ''retrace our steps'' is go towards the caboose the same as we did last night and look for some clues there.

Nutsy: Oh.

Trigger: (begins making his way) Well, let's get on with it.

Nutsy: Wait.

Trigger: Oh, what is it now?

Nutsy: Don't we need to get a notebook to draw our clues on from a talking side table draw first?

Trigger: NUTSY, YOU STUPID GREAT BANANA! This is REAL LIFE! NOT BLUE'S CLUES! Now, come on! (Begins making his way to the caboose again)

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (confused) What's ''Blue's Clues''?

Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know! It's a show that's kinda like ''Bear in the Big Blue House'' and...

Trigger: I SAID COME ON!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (starts following him) Alright, we're on our way. Sheesh!

Nutsy: (singing a certain Blue's Clues song) We are looking for Blue's Clues. I wonder where they are.

Trigger: SHUT UP!

* * *

*Well, we're back at the end of the train again where Casey Junior is STILL pushing from behind the caboose. Shock of all shocks, I know.*

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): I don't see any kind of clue here that can possibly help us right now at the moment. Unless Casey here is a clue.

Pinkie Pie: Hi again, Casey Junior!

Casey Junior: (recognises them from last night) Oh. It's you lot again. Well, what do you want from me now? I already told you that I'm NOT the cake saboteur, trains CAN'T eat even though Tillie and I both have faces, and I COULDN'T have done it because I've been back here pushing the train the ENTIRE time! What about this information I gave you last night isn't getting through to you?

Dr. Hooves: Well actually, Casey, you see...

Casey Junior: (notices Dr. Hooves with Pinkie's detective hat on his head) And what in the name of sanity have you got on your head?

Dr. Hooves: Hmm? Oh, it's a detective hat. I'm wearing a detective hat for now. Detective hats are cool.

(That Dr. Who reference was specially for you, online sister! Dede42: Thanks for that, online brother! (sneezes again)

Casey Junior: ...Why?

Dr. Hooves: Well, we're retracing our steps from the previous night to find some clues to help us find out who ate the cake.

Pinkie Pie: And the desserts from the other chefs too!

Casey Junior: Well, I doubt you'll find any clues out here. It's nothing but a dead en...

Nutsy: A CLUE! A CLUE!

Trigger: (groans) Nutsy, I just told you, THIS ISN'T BLUE'S CLUES!

Nutsy: (points to the ceiling of the caboose) NO! A CLUE! RIGHT THERE!

Trigger: Alright, fine. I'll humour you. Where IS this so called ''clue'', ''Steve''?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): No, wait a minute there, Trigger! Nutsy's right! Look!

*And indeed there IS a clue on the caboose ceiling. What is it? Yeah...these clues will be remaining anonymous until later like the original episode.*

Dr. Hooves: (spots it) Aha! Our first clue! You know what we need?

Nutsy: A super duper notebook?

Dr. Hooves: No. I need Dis...''Tigger'' to bounce up and bring it down so I can put it in this envelope for safe keeping. Seriously, enough with the Blue's Clues stuff already.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (bounces up to the ceiling and grabs the evidence) I got it! Here you go, Doc!

Dr. Hooves: Thank you. (Examines the evidence very carefully) Hmm. Could it be? No! That's impossible! It can't be! Can it?

Pinkie Pie: What? What's wrong?

Dr. Hooves: (sighs and puts the evidence in the envelope) I think I know who did it, Pinkie.

Pinkie Pie: (surprised to hear this) Already?

Dr. Hooves: Yes. But I think we could do with a bit more evidence to confirm. So, what do any of us remember happened next after going to the caboose?

Pinkie Pie: (tries hard to remember again) Hmm. Well, after chasing the shadowy figure towards the caboose, I think...I think...ooh, I just can't remember.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): I can, Pinkie! I remember seeing the shadowy thing running off towards the engine and I teleported myself over there with my cha...um...errrrrrrr...I mean the power of my magic tricks!

Nutsy: (too dumb to even remember) You can do MAGIC?!

Trigger: (rolls his eyes at the annoyance of Nutsy's apparent memory loss) Yes, Nutsy. Apparently, he can.

Dr. Hooves: Well then, Mr. Private Ear! Onward! To the engine!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Aye aye, Doctor!

*Snap of the ''Tigger paws'', they both disappear in a flash of light, blabbity blabbity blah, you get the idea.*

Nutsy: Wow. He's good.

Pinkie Pie: Very good.

Trigger: Is he ever going to explain when, how and WHY he has magical powers when all the times I've known this ''Tigger'' character, he HASN'T?!

Pinkie Pie: Ah-ah-ah, Trigger! You know what they say?

Nutsy: ''All toasters toast toast?''

Pinkie Pie: No! A magician never reveals it's secrets.

Nutsy: Oh.

* * *

*Back inside Tillie's cab again. Oh, look! There's no engineer/fireman shovelling coal this time.*

Dr. Hooves: (as he and ''Tigger'' reappear) Now then, Discord, seeing as how they're no one around here, what do you remember seeing in here then?

Discord: (turns back into the form of himself as no one's around) Hmm. Well, I thought this was were the shadowy figure I saw went. But all I saw was the train driver/fireman/engineer putting black rocks into that fireplace right there.

Dr. Hooves: Uh, Discord? The black rocks are called coal. And that's not a fireplace. That's Tillie's firebox.

Discord: Well, excuse me for not knowing as much about trains as everyone else I know of! I didn't watch Thomas the Tank Engine as a young draconequus THAT much to know what trains are and what train things are called, you know!

Dr. Hooves: (realising something is off) Wait a minute! Where IS the driver of the train?!

Discord: Oh, relax, Doc. Tillie and Casey Junior don't even NEED drivers and firemen like most Thomas characters do. They're cartoony enough to have the ability of going where they need to go by themselves. Remember Dumbo?

Dr. Hooves: (a little confused) Wait...so, if Tillie and Casey Junior have the ability to work without anyone inside them fiddling with the controls, how come the Thomas characters DON'T like you just now mentioned?

Discord: (tries hard to think as again, he didn't watch Thomas THAT much) Guess Thomas and his friends weren't cartoony enough to gain such an ability. Anyway, enough chatting. Where's this second clue we're supposed to be looking for in here?

Dr. Hooves: Well, so far, Discord, I can't see any clues yet. But...(sniffs the air)...I can smell a very odd smell here.

Discord: Really? (Sniffs the air too) Huh. So can I. Smells like someone did a great big belch after taking a bite of that great big cake last night.

Dr. Hooves: A belch?!

Discord: Uh...yeah. Why are you surprised? Don't people or ponies usually belch after just eating something?

Dr. Hooves: Yes. But...oh, mercy me. It couldn't have been...could it? But it doesn't make any sense!

Discord: What?

Dr. Hooves: Come on, Discord. Let's get back to Pinkie Pie and look for our last clue.

Discord: Anything you say, Doc.

Dr. Hooves: In that case, could you not call m...

Discord: Allon-sy! (Snaps his talons as they both disappear in a flash of light...again)

* * *

*Back in the dessert ca...you get the idea already!*

Nutsy: (annoying Trigger by singing) Do you believe in magic tricks? In a young man's heart? How the music can free him whenever it starts...

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (reappears) Guess who?

Trigger: AGK! STAY BACK!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (manages to stop Trigger before he sets off Ol' Betsy again) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm down, bro. We don't need to go through all that again.

Pinkie Pie: Find the second clue, Doc?

Dr. Hooves: Well...I certainly SMELT it.

Pinkie Pie: Cake breath in Tillie's cab?

Dr. Hooves: Exactly.

Trigger: So...anyone remember what happened next?

Dr. Hooves: (winces) Yeah...about that. I...don't remember...like...AT ALL!

Trigger: (enraged) WHAT?!

Pinkie Pie: Well, don't you remember, Trigger? The blinds all mysteriously snapped shut causing everything to go dark and you all panicked so much, you knocked yourselves out by running straight into things.

Dr. Hooves: Yeah. I'm...sad to say she's right. So, only Pinkie probably knows what happened next?

Trigger: She'd better!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): I sure hope so.

Nutsy: Me too...wait...what are we hoping for?

Pinkie Pie: Well, let me see, while you all panicked and set Ol' Betsy off by mistake...

Dr. Hooves: (remembers stepping on Trigger's foot in the dark) Yeah, sorry about that.

Trigger: (shoots him a look) Clumsy.

Pinkie Pie: I heard tiny little footsteps and a loud THUD!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Are you sure the thud wasn't US running straight into things?

Pinkie Pie: Well, it was a rather small thud compared to the other thuds. In fact, I think I can see the shape of the puny little figure I saw right on that wall underneath that portrait there.

*There is a long silence.*

Pinkie Pie: What?

*Still silence.*

Nutsy: You think we would've seen that when we regained consciousness earlier this morning.

Trigger: (bangs head repeatedly on a wall again) ARE! YOU! KIDDING! ME?! HOW! DID! WE! NOT! SEE! THAT?!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (glances at the camera/readers) Actually, that's a good question.

Dr. Hooves: (examines the shape of the hole in the wall that was caused by the puny shadowy whatever) Hmm.

Pinkie Pie: What is it, Doc?

Dr. Hooves: I don't know why, Pinkie, but there is something pretty familiar about this shape. But I just can't quite put my hoof on who it was who caused this hole in the wall here. I mean, there's hardly anyone we know who'd be as small as the figure you saw who hit this wall, Pinkie. That is, nobody except...hey. Wait a second. (Ponders everything until the puzzle pieces fall right into place in his mind) By Jove! I think I've got it!

Nutsy: (confused once more) Who's ''Jove''?

Dr. Hooves: Pinkie, Mr. Private Ear, everyone back here. I believe we have a cake culprit to catch.

Pinkie and Di...''Tigger'': (both salute) Yes, sir!

Nutsy: Wait. You mean we have all three clues?

Trigger: (seeing where this is going again) Oh no. Not again.

Nutsy: You know what this means? We're ready to sit in our thinking chai...

Everyone (except Nutsy): ENOUGH WITH THE BLUES CLUES STUFF ALREADY!

Nutsy: Sorry.

* * *

It looks like the dessert thief is about to be caught by Dr. Hooves. And you'll all have to wait until whenever we feel up to making the next chapter to know who attacked the desserts.

* * *

A/N: This is a perfect way to end this chapter, and I will see you all later when the next chapter is ready. Now I'm going to bed. Bye for now! R&R everyone!


	8. Chapter 8: Mystery Solved! (Finally!)

A/N: (Dede42 checks on Pinkie Pie, who is fast asleep on the couch and chuckles.)

Yeah, Pinkie is still here and she's asleep, so I say that she did enjoy the birthday cake slice.

* * *

The Climatic Return Of ''Tigger, Private Ear''! (Aka: Two Great Detectives Solve The MMMystery on the Friendship Express...With Help!): Chapter 8: Mystery Solved! (Finally!)

*So, after that request from Dr. Hooves, Pinkie Pie and ''Tigger'', Private Ear, as you can see, have escorted everyone who was in this exact same car the previous two chapters with the instruction to wait until Dr. Hooves joined them...which is kind of weird since Dr. Hooves is already here waiting for them since they all got escorted back here so...you know what, never mind.*

* * *

Mulia Mild: (stuttering a little) So, um, why are we all here again exactly?

Timon: How the heck should I know?

Mulia Mild: But...how can YOU not know? I've heard from your warthog friend that you're the BRAINS of the outfit.

Timon: You think just because I'm the brains of the outfit, I know answers to questions such as yours?!

*At that exact moment, Dr. Hooves, who hadn't gone anywhere because he was here being silent until Mulia and Timon said their lines the whole time, breaks the silence by...walking out of the dessert car and walking back in it again because...um...pancakes.*

Dr. Hooves: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I suppose you all are wondering why you're all here again like you were earlier this morning?

Pumbaa: Wow. (Whispers to Timon) He's good.

Derpy: (paying more attention to the hat on Dr. Hooves' head) Ooh! Nice hat, Doc!

Dr. Hooves: Hmm? (Looks up) Oh, this thing? Thanks. Pinkie is letting me borrow out for the remainder of this case. Detective hats are cool.

Trigger: You said that already. Can you just get on with this so that we can eventually go HOME?!

Dr. Hooves: Oh. Get on with it. Right. Of course. (Clears throat) Well, it just so happened that I have discovered the true culprit of this cake carnage.

Gustave le Grand: May one be as so...uh, how you say, ''bold'' as to inquire HOW?

Dr. Hooves: Well, unlike earlier when all of us just jumped to conclusions all willy nilly, we all eventually realised that when committing a crime, it's crucial that one never leaves behind clues. Take Blue for example. She always leaves behind clues even though she's not the type of dog who'd commit such crimes as...

Trigger: JUST GET ON WITH IT!

Dr. Hooves: Oh! Yes, yes, yes! The clue. (Opens up the envelope from behind his back and takes out a grey feather) Behold!

*Oh, look. Surprise, surprise. Everyone gasps...AGAIN!*

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Aha! A grey feather! And I know the very creature who has feathers!

Pinkie Pie: As do I, Mr. Private Ear. (Goes to confront Gustave again) Tigger and I knew it was you who did it all the time, Gustave le Grand!

Gustave le Grand: Au, mon dieu! You can't be pinning ze blame on moi a SECOND time, SURELY!

Dr. Hooves: Good guess, Pinkie. Gustave does have feathers. But not grey feathers. So it couldn't have been him.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): That is unless he DYED his feathers grey last night!

Dr. Hooves: I don't think so, Di...I mean, ''Mr. Private Ear'', sir. Let's see if we can try and remember what happened when we chased the suspect towards the caboose again.

Nutsy: Okay. (Begins making his way towards the end of the train again)

Dr. Hooves: Uh, where are you going?

Nutsy: Oh, I thought we were all going back to the caboose to retrace our steps again.

Dr. Hooves: No, no, no, no. Of course we don't need to retrace our steps a second time. I mean...(sighs)...look, from what I can remember as I was there with everyone last night, as we inspected the caboose, the suspect disappeared without a trace. Because the thief FLEW AWAY! However, she DID leave behind a little something, didn't you, Derpy Hooves?

Derpy: (begins to sweat nervously) W-what could you possibly be talking about, Doctor? Y-you think I'd be one to commit late night crimes like those we dealt with in our past adventures? (Does a nervous laugh and then gulps) I'm...dead, aren't I?

Dr. Hooves: Derpy, I...(sighs)...I can't believe you'd do such a thing like this, Derpy. And after all we've done together too. I'm not mad but...(another sigh)...I'm pretty disappointed in you right now.

Derpy: (droops her head in shame) Sorry, Doc.

Trigger: So, the wall-eyed klutz did it! Mystery solved! Alright, Nutsy! Home time! Make with your so called apparent ''magic'' tricks, Tigg...

Dr. Hooves: Uh...mystery NOT solved, Trigger. Because when ''Tigger'' and I both went inside Tillie's cab to check for clues, there was a rather odd smell. A sort of...cakey kind of smell. In fact, it smelt like someone belched in there. And I do happen to know a certain creature with rather sharp tusks and an ability to repel predators in here with a ''special power'' when it comes to belching.

Nutsy: You mean Derpy secretly has tusks?

Dr. Hooves: Okay, what kind of ridiculous question is that, Nutsy? Ponies don't even HAVE any tusks! But warthogs do however, eh, Pumbaa?

Pumbaa: (eyes shrink) Uh oh.

Trigger: (gets out Ol' Betsy) You're goin' down, tubby!

Pumbaa: NO! DON'T SHOOT! I HAVE NEGATIVE/NO KIDS!

Dr. Hooves: Trigger!

Trigger: Sorry.

Timon: Is that all the evidence you have, Doc? Can we go back our rooms yet?

Dr. Hooves: NOT! QUITE! SO! FAST, Timon. Because after that, ANOTHER clue confounded our suspicions. Because from what my detective like brain can remember far back from last night, was that just after I made a rousing speech by saying ''not to leave this spot whatsoever'', the blinds curtains mysteriously closed causing every one of us to go into a total state of panic. But that's no mystery. It could be magic! OR...

Everyone Else (except the Doc): ''Or''?!

Dr. Hooves: A case of total clumsiness.

Everyone Else (except the Doc): (confused) Huh?

Dr. Hooves: Now then, Timon, I've heard pretty much all the time that you are the BRAINS of the outfit out of everyone we all know and love. Is that true?

Timon: Yes. I recall a warthog and a moose just reminding me that just recently. What's your point?

Dr. Hooves: Oh, well, the thing is you see...and if you'll forgive me if this question sounds rather silly and absurd to you, but...are you by any chance, oh, what's the word? Uhhhhh...clumsy?

Timon: Cl-cl-CLUMSY?! ME?! A smart meerkat like ME?! CLUMSY?! NEVER! No way! No how! Not in a million trillion years! Well, except for when I ran straight into a wall TWICE late last night, but apart from that I...OOP! (Quickly shuts himself up)

Dr. Hooves: AHA! You see, he ADMITS it! And what was it that you were doing late last night that caused to run straight into a wall TWICE?!

Timon: (begins to sweat nervously) Um...uh...err...well...I-I-I-I w-was probably, you know, um...err...uh...SLEEPWALKING! That's it! Definite sleepwalking! Nothing else! That's all I need to tell ya! Oh my, is that the time? I'm outta here! (Begins making a run for it until he hits a wall...a THIRD time!) OUCH!

*Then, as if by magic, due to the extreme crash into the wall by the so called ''brains of the outfit'', the blinds all close by themselves. Luckily, as it's daytime, it doesn't go all dark this time.*

Dr. Hooves: AHA! I thought so. I'll bet that's why these curtains shut the FIRST time you hit the wall.

Timon: (dazed) How did you even KNOW I hit the wall even after it went all dark in here? (Dr. Hooves points to the still very noticeable meerkat shaped hole in the wall underneath the portrait) Oh.

Pumbaa: Uh, Timon?

Timon: Yes, Pumbaa?

Pumbaa: How come no one even noticed this VERY noticeable hole here until just now?

Nutsy: That's exactly what I said...at least, I THINK I said something like that. Wait...has that hole always been there? I don't even remember noticing it the first time! Am I slowly losing starting to lose all my brain cells?!

(I think it's pretty obvious what the answer to that question is.)

Timon: (begins crying) OKAY, OKAY, I CONFESS! I'M GUILTY! I'm not always the brains of the outfit! I AM sometimes a KLUTZ! I don't even wear any underwear! (Continues crying)

(That ''underwear'' line is a reference to a similar line said by Timon near the end of the episode ''Mombasa In-Law'' which, of course, is on Youtube in case you haven't seen it yet. Though, given the fact that I said something about rewriting it last year but then dropping the idea due to difficulties, you probably may have already watched that episode by then. I don't know. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. I won't mind.)

Dr. Hooves: (glaring at Timon) AND?!

Timon: Oh, and I took a bite of the cake.

Pumbaa: (nodding sadly) Me too.

Derpy: (still with her head hanging in never-ending shame) So did I.

Timon: Derpy, we already know you took a bite out of it. You apologised the first time.

Derpy: Sorry, Timon. But that's just how guilty I am. I can't STOP saying sorry right now. But really, I think the person or pony in here who we REALLY should be saying sorry to is Pinkie Pie.

Pumbaa: I agree. Sorry, Pinkie.

Derpy: Yes. We didn't mean to do it.

Pumbaa: It's just that when we all got onboard and the train started moving, that cake looked so delicious and tempting to taste from the start!

Derpy: And the way you described how it was going to be the tastiest treat of them all, oh, I tell you, you made it sound SO delectable.

Pumbaa: So tasty.

Timon: (begins perking up again) And boy, was it? (Grins until he notices the looks on everyone's faces again) I...I mean, no! No, it wasn't that tasty at all! (Nervous laugh)

Derpy: I only meant to take a little tiny bite-sized bite.

Pumbaa: And it was so good.

Timon: Yeah, I just dove right in right after hitting that wall the first time.

Derpy: But although I've apologised twice already, I just can't help but keep on saying I'm really, really sorry.

Pumbaa: Terribly sorry.

Timon: (sighs) Oh, alright. I'm...(mutters underneath his breath) sorry.

Pinkie Pie: Pardon?

Timon: (still muttering under his breath) Sorry.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Could you say that again a little bit louder?

Timon: (suddenly shouting in his ear) I'M SORRY! OKAY?!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (covers his ears) Ow. Yes, that's what I thought you said.

Pinkie Pie: (smiling, understanding why they did it) Don't worry about it. It's okay. At least this mystery is finally solved.

Trigger: And at least NOW, Nutsy and I can FINALLY go home! Honestly, ''Tigger'' or whatever your name is, why did you get us both into this mess in the first place?! You wasted BOTH our times?!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): (shrugs) Meh. Seemed like a good idea at the time until night fell.

Trigger: Well, it wasn't! Now, can you PLEASE magic us back home befor...

Nutsy: Hometime? You mean that we just worked out Blue's Clues?

Trigger: No! Not the singing again! ANYTHING BUT BLUE'S CLUES SONGS AGAIN!

Nutsy: (singing) We've just worked out Blue's Clues. We've just worked out Blue's Clues. We've just worked out Blue's Clues. Because we're very bright.

Trigger: No, Nutsy, you're NOT!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Yeah, I'm regretting my own choices right now. (Snaps his ''Tigger paws'' and in a flash of light, Nutsy and Trigger are sent on their way back home to Nottingham)

Derpy: Aw, did you have to send them back? I was just getting used to their company.

Dr. Hooves: Uh, Mr. Private Ear, sir? If you'll forgive me for interrupting, I would just like to point out that the case is NOT solved just yet.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): It isn't?

Pinkie Pie: You mean there's more?!

Dr. Hooves: Well...YEAH. I mean, we figured out who ate the Marzipan Mascarpone Madness. But we still don't know who devoured the other baker's goods.

Pinkie Pie: Huh. That IS pretty perplexing.

Timon: Wasn't me! (Hides behind Pumbaa)

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Not to worry, my dear, Timon. Something tells me in my ''Private Ear'' senses that neither of you three committed THIS crime this time.

Pinkie Pie: I agree, Tigger. So, you know what we have to do?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Well, only if YOU do, Pinkie girl.

Dr. Hooves: What's that then?

Pinkie and Di...''Tigger'': Look for clues!

Derpy: ''Blue's Clues'' by any chan...

Dr. Hooves: (rolls his eyes) Oh, don't YOU start.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): After you, m'lady?

Pinkie Pie: Very kind of you, I'm sure.

*They both start investigating the dessert car, searching every inch of it while everyone else waits. Yeah, this takes a while. So we'll just cut to after a few minutes of this.*

Dr. Hooves: (breaks the silence) Well, you two, did you find the devourer of the desserts?

Pinkie Pie: We most certainly did. Care to tell them, Mr. Private Ear?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): I'd be happy to, pink one. For my ''Private Ear'' senses tell me that it was none other than...drumroll, please?

Pinkie Pie: (gets out a drum from behind her back and does a drumroll)

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): THE BAKERS!

*Group gasps, you get the idea.*

Timon: This isn't another wild accusation again, is it?

Pumbaa: I think they truthfully mean it this time, Timon.

Derpy: Are you two absolutely sure?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Well, it couldn't have been either of you three since you all went for the ''MMMM''.

Derpy: Hmm. That is true actually.

Pumbaa: Can't argue with him there.

Pinkie Pie: Besides, take a looky here! Gustave has mousse in his moustaches! (Pulls on his moustache to show everyone the clue)

Gustave le Grand: Le'OUCH! How you say...uhhhh...WATCH IT!

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Take a look at what I found in Donut Joe's hair! It's an 'eclair!

Donut Joe: Aw, come on! How could you have possibly found 'eclair crumbs in my mane? They're SMALL!

Pinkie Pie: And Mulia has sprinkles in her wrinkles! (Pulls on her face to show everyone the sprinkle crumbs)

Mulia Mild: Hey! Let go of my face! That HURTS!

Pinkie Pie: Oh. Whoopsie. (Lets go)

Dr. Hooves: What do you have to say about this then, bakers?

Gustave le Grand: (sighs and turns to Mulia) Oh, I am so sorry, Mulia. But those two made your mousse moose sound...tres' magnifique!

Mulia Mild: Yes, I'm sorry. I do not speak French.

Donut Joe: And their description of your 'eclairs really did make 'em sound scrumptious!

Mulia Mild: And the way they spoke about Donutopia, oh, it was too delectable to resist!

Timon: I doubt Nick Wilde would approve of an entire city being eaten by you though.

(Heh. See what I did there? Because ''Donutopia'' and ''Zootopia'' and...yeah, it wasn't that funny at all, was it? Sorry about that.)

Dr. Hooves: Well, everyone, we finally have this mystery solved!

Gustave le Grand: I fail to see how zat is a good thing since now, we have no desserts to enter into ze contest!

Donut Joe: How about snails then since that's what they serve in France? I thought I saw one in here a few hours ago with cute little gumdrop eyes and a swirly wirly cue shell.

Timon: (slaps his face) YOU LEAVE SPEEDY THE SNAIL ALONE, YOU MONSTER!

Pumbaa: (realises they may have to find and rescue Speedy again) Oh boy. Here we go again.

Pinkie Pie: (takes a look at the ruined desserts and thinks for a few minutes) Hmm. (Gasps) Lightbulb! (A lightbulb appears over her head) Oh, thank you! I could use this to replace some of the broken lightbulbs in Ponyville. (Keeps it safe behind her back) Okay, what was I thinking? (Gasps again) Aha! Bakers, I think I have an idea about how we can all still make it into the competition.

Gustave le Grand: You have?

Donut Joe: Is it a good one?

Pinkie Pie: Just huddle up and I'll tell ya.

*After a brief huddle up and run-through of the plan, they gather up the remains of the ruined desserts to...but I mustn't tell you anymore. Or I shall spoil the final chapter and epilogue.*

* * *

A/N: Yup, this chapter is done, and when Pinkie Pie wakes up, I'll send her back your way to check on things, online brother. Bye for now! R&R everyone!


	9. Chapter 9: Epilogue

A/N: (Sunrise Blossom enters the writers' studio and is about to greet Dede42 when Rainbow Dash sneaks in and pops the balloon.)

Sunrise Blossom: Agh! (jumps a foot and collides with the ceiling, wraps her legs around one of the rafters.)

Dede42: Agh! (dives under the desk.)

Rainbow Dash: (Falls over laughing) I got you both!

Dede42: Not funny, Dash. (crawls out from under the desk while Rainbow Dash helps Sunrise Blossom return to the floor.) Not funny at all.

Sunrise Blossom: Dash, please no more balloon popping please?

Rainbow Dash: Oh, ok.

Dede42: (shakes her head) Anyway, in answer to my online brother's question about my neighbors and fireworks during the 4th of July. Yes, some of them do tend to set off fireworks several days before and during the 4th of July, making it really loud at night, and it's really annoying.

* * *

The Climatic Return Of ''Tigger, Private Ear''! (Aka: Two Great Detectives Solve The MMMystery on the Friendship Express...With Help!): Chapter 9: Epilogue

*Well, here we are at Canterlot. And about time too! And by the look of things, everything seems to be going along nicely at the National Dessert Competition. Timon, Pumbaa, Derpy, The Doc and Di...''Tigger'' are all finally chowing down on the desserts that are there. But what was Pinkie's plan that was never revealed until literally right now? Take a look at the cake. That's right. A combo cake made with ALL the ruined desserts. And here's Princess Celestia giving it a first prize ribbon.*

Celestia: I declare Pinkie Pie, Mulia Mild, Donut Joe and Guatave le Grand all winners of this year's National Dessert Competition for the most creative combo cake that has ever been created! Congratulations to you all!

*Guess what? The crowd isn't gasping this time! They're cheering for joy! Pretty loudly too! How many ponies and creatures are there at Canterlot cheering right now? Because if there's lots, the amount of loud cheering would probably deafen me.*

Pinkie Pie: W-we won? (Begins crying tears of joy) Wow. Just...(sniff)...wow. Thank you, Princess Celestia. Just...thank you.

Celestia: No, Pinkie. Thank YOU and all of you other bakers too for coming up with such a brilliant masterpiece! Wherever did you get this wonderful idea?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Heh. That's kind of a long story.

Dr. Hooves: Yeah. But I will definitely say that we all learned something throughout our trip.

Timon, Pumbaa and Derpy: (confused) We did?

Dr. Hooves: No, not you three.

Timon, Pumbaa and Derpy: Oh yeah.

Celestia: Oh, really? And what was that then?

Pinkie Pie: Well, Tigger, the Doc and I all learned that it's not good to jump to conclusions. Isn't that right, Tigger?

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): You said it, Pinkie girl! In addition, we also learned that you have to find out all the facts before saying someone did something.

Pinkie Pie: Because if you don't, you'll only just succeed in hurting someone else's feelings by blaming THEM for something they didn't do. Like we all did at first for example.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): Yep. We sure all ended up feeling foolish, didn't we?

Pinkie Pie: So from now on, we will always make sure to get all the facts.

Tigger (Discord in Tigger's body): In others words, just play Blue's Clues! Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Dr. Hooves: (rolls his eyes again) You too?

Celestia: (suddenly all excited) ''Blue's Clues''? Oh my gosh! I remember that show! It was on our TV all the time when Luna and I were fillies! Whoever made you start remembering that wonderful show throughout your trip here?

Dr. Hooves: You're probably better off not knowing.

Derpy: Speaking of which, I wonder how Nutsy and Trigger are getting on now that Di...I mean ''Tigger'' teleported them back home to Nottingham?

Timon: Oh, who cares? Let's just DIG IN! (Begins eating lots and lots of desserts with Pumbaa) OM-NOM-NOM-NOM!

Pumbaa: (also eating lots of desserts) Yum-yum-yum! This beats bugs ANY day! Right, Timon!

Timon: (with his mouth full of desserts) You said it!

Celestia: Hey, save some desserts for everyone else, you two.

Dr. Hooves: (offers her a slice) Care for a bite?

Pinkie Pie: Don't mind if I do! (Jumps up into the air and immediately swallows the cake once she lands which startles everyone) Mmmmm! (Belches as loud as Pumbaa) Ooh, excuse me!

*Everyone just laughs at Pinkie's antics...except of course Mulia, Guatave and Joe who spent a LOT of time making that combo cake with Pinkie. But apart from those three, everyone's happy. But getting back to Derpy's question, whatever DID happen to those two Robin Hood vultures once they got sent back home? Is Nutsy still annoying Trigger with Blue's Clues related stuff? Let's take a look!*

* * *

*Well, we're here. Back at the Royal Rock Pile. Nutsy and Trigger are in their spots in the tree above the prisoners (aka: Prince John and the Sheriff since Sir Hiss escaped and turned over a new leaf like Iago in case you haven't read ''A Trip To Nottingham''). And...oh...well, that answers Derpy's question alright.*

Nutsy: (still singing Blue's Clues songs...offkey) We are looking for Blue's Clues! We are looking for Blue's Clues! We are looking for Blue's Clues! I wonder where they are!

Sheriff of Nottingham: (annoyed at how long Nutsy's been doing this) GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK! TOO MUCH NOSTALGIA!

Prince John: (desperately trying to cover his ears) Grrrr...where's another random earthquake caused by a random dragon migration when you need one?!

Sheriff of Nottingham: (hands Prince John his rock smashing hammer...thing) Here. Please hit me as hard as you can.

Prince John: Thought you'd never ask. (Does as the Sheriff says by hitting him on the head with the rock smashing hammer thing)

Sheriff of Nottingham: (dazed) Thanks. (Passes out)

Nutsy: (still singing) We are looking for Blue's Clues! We are looking for Blue's Clues! Come on, Trigger! You should know the words by now! Sing with me!

Trigger: (ready to lose his sanity once more) THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE...AGAIN! (Looks down) Hmm. I wonder if a fall from this height would be enough to kill me.

*Well, it looks like we've reached the end of this story. I don't think Ol' PJ is going to be leaving anywhere anytime soon. And Nutsy will probably keep on annoying Trigger until the next day when he'll stop and forget what he was even singing and why he was doing such a thing in the first place. The Sheriff is most likely going to have such a big headache when he regains consciousness. And...well, all is happy in Equestria, all is happy in Nottingham too...except for everyone in this rock pile though obviously. But, this story is over. So...bye!*

The End

* * *

A/N: Yup, this story is official over, and I will see you all tomorrow. Bye for now! R&R everyone!


End file.
